relapse (things i forgot about you)

how beautiful your face was,
my dreams have reminded me.

how your eyes glimmered
when you are happy
and at peace in yourself.

how it felt
to be surrounded by you,
your emotion,
your essence,
your being.

how overwhelmingly warm your soul is.

my dreams have reminded me.

they've notified me.
part of you has returned,
after a long slumber.

but it seems i've forgotten,
and with loving liberty,
my sweetest dreams have reminded me,
your love, like a thick, warm fog, is blinding.

the intoxication
i cannot allow.

i haven't forgotten what it was like
to end up alone,
blind,
deaf, and dumb,
terrified
in the forest
where the fog
is freezing cold
and the ground
is made of brown-colored paper.

to be in this forest,
is to find your own way out.

this i have not forgotten.

i refuse to relapse.
the cycle must break
before it begins.