Monday, May 23, 2011

the thrill (panic attack)

it begins with a sort of tingling sensation.

felt in the chest, then spreading out, circulating. it's noticed the most in the hands. temperature both rises and drops. breathing picks up, slowly, gradually gaining itself into smaller and shorter breaths. a sudden wave of fear sweeps over, and for a split second... you can remember being born.

an immediate need to sit down, lined with a overwhelming light feeling, like a bird taking flight. a sort of euphoric feeling. it's not peaceful, but it's not particularly scary. eyelids cover the eyes, and pink and yellow are common colors to view. all control is lost, and at some point, fists become clenched and breathing becomes nonexistent.

it feels so close to death, as if he's spinning and twirling around, briefly brushing and sweeping. it's as if love is being made with the end of life, so close to him, you can feel his breath on your neck.

and then His face is visualized, and an urge to cry and kick and scream to get away from The End takes over.

the rapid breathing is sounded loud now, like an alarm. a soft, calming voice is clear, recognized as Bre's supportive and caring tone, and suddenly, a heating sensation radiates throughout and you're safe.

you're alive.

somehow, you're still alive.

thank god... you're still alive.

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